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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in fcukonthebeauch's LiveJournal:

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Monday, August 15th, 2005
11:16 am
A day of past flings.
Whoa, i haven't updated in a while.

Today is Dean's first day of Law School. let me take a moment to let that trickle through my head.


okay moment over.


i'm getting together with Dave today.


is that not ironic that i'm seeing the guys i was hung up on for almost 3 years, while the current guy i'm hung up on is starting his new life?


oh life, or "oh, newt!" as i've been saying lately (in responce to Newt Gingrich's return to politics).
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
10:14 am
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
I finished Harry Potter last night. Over all i'm up in the air about it. The begining was slow and boring for HP standards, but the end had this gigantic climax! And i don't just mean, before he gets to school, 'cause those parts are usualy not at interesting, but he doesn't get to school till almost half way through this one, and then i almost feel like the detail of what happens at school has been rushed. The title mystery, who the Half-Blood Prince is, i thought was really obvious, and i think JK Rowling ment it to be that way, 'cause the character it turns out to be had me very surprised.

I'm still not sure about the plot though. The substance that is there is REALLY big, but there isn't much of it, the book is over 600 pages, but i feel like she's always crammed more into them. There weren't many side plots going on. But oh well. Though, with that ending, i will be waiting in line in another 2 years waiting to finish the saga of Harry Potter.
Wednesday, June 29th, 2005
10:22 pm
11 FUCKING HOURS!
so i'm back in Rhode Island. I left DC at around 10, and didn't get home till 9:15. THAT'S 11 FUCKING HOURS I WAS IN THE CAR!!! i hit awful traffic in Jersey and crawled to NYC where i hit rush hour, and crawled again till New Haven, between NJ and New Haven i never went over 50 miles an hour. my ass hurt, my back hurts, i'm going to bed. this day has been horrid.
Monday, June 27th, 2005
11:27 am
killing time...
i'm currently in Gelman Library killing time. It's kind of annoying that Georgetown doesn't have a Metro. I'm meeting Dean for lunch at 12:30, so i had to walk 15 minutes to M&Wisconsin to get the Bus to the Foggy Bottom Metro. It looked like it was going to start to rain, so i went to GW Bookstore and bought and umbrella. Now i'm still killing time, in Gelman typing away... i stopped by the visitors center, but Elliot wasn't there. now i've got a half hour still to kill. ow, my back hurts. i think i might go to the hippodrome and sit in a comfy couch.
Monday, June 20th, 2005
11:49 pm
Whoa!
Whoa! it's been a long time since i last updated.

life's life. all i've done lately is work, read, surfed the internet, etc. i feel like this summer is going to be kind of lame. justine, myself, the slovaks, AJ and Kimmy are the only ones old enough to legally work till late at night, so justine and i are going to have to suporvise closing the store everynight, which means i'll probably get 2 nights a week that i'll be able to hang out with people. i'm happy to be working though, and at the moment i've been on the schedule to work 40 hours a week, which is quite optimal in the money department! we all know i have a shoe and jean fetish to support.

MORGAN IS HOME FROM ENGLAND! YAY! i've been in slight withdrawl that i haven't been able to call her everyday on every whim that flutters through my consiousness (thank god we both have Verizon). at the same time i'm quite jealous that she got to go to London/the english countryside for 10 days.

i just realized i have to pay my parking ticket. :o( there's $20 out the window.

i also just realized that i turn 19 in less than a month. i feel old! though, the age of 19 doesn't really have any meaning to it. i'm an adult, but one who can't legally drink. somedays i really feel that it is violating my civil rights, which in technicality im sure it is. damn stupid people in the country.

i should get to bed. good night moon.
Sunday, June 5th, 2005
9:31 am
"it's going to be a long summer..."
it was crazy at Goodies yesterday. it was crazy in Newport yesterday. fucking Schwepps Chowder Cookoff.

so i got bumped up to work at 1130 today as opposed to 1. :o( the schedule is up though! and i have wed and thursday off, so i'm pretty sure i'm going up to Boston!!! :o) god i miss Morgan and Liesl.

Nordstrom called yesterday. my jeans are in. :o) 'cept i don't think i can go pick them up till Tuesday night after work.

i'm going to dinner with Kathryn and Rob on monday.

i really need to get together with Jenn. She came into Goodies last night when she got off from work (she's working at Sbux again).

anyways, i'm going to go play with comet (i had a dream last night that he ran off).
Saturday, June 4th, 2005
11:14 am
Rain Dance
please rain today! i don't want to work till 9.

yesterday was commencement '05. it was weird being back. i feel like the school has changed because of the new building. though, i can't believe it's been exactly a year. literally, i graduated on June 4th! the girl from Nordstom hasn't called about my jeans yet. i hope the arrive soon, and then i can go try them on, and hopefully buy them. My favorite pair of jeans which i've only had for 2 months are starting to rip in the crotch. i'm going to take them back to Up Against the Wall when i take my sister down to DC and see if i can get them exchanged. Honestly, jeans shouldn't start falling apart in 2 months!

i've hung out with Donnelly a lot lately. it's been fun. when she first got back from school, there was awkward silences somtimes, but they are gone. I think i'm going to dinner with her and Rob on Monday (work permiting). I'm kind of excited to meet him. Kathryn is head-over-heals in love with him (well, to the extent that kathryn can, she's fairly reserved) and i really want to meet him.

i started I am Charlotte Simmons. it's good, i've really gotten into it. though, at times you can tell the book is written by a 60 year old man. He hasn't gotten everything down perfect, but it's pretty damn close! i woke up and read some more this morning, but got to a chapter that was about a character i don't really like, and didn't fee like trudging through it, so i put the book down.

i smell hot dogs or hamburgers being grilled somewhere... yumm!

well, i need to go eat lunch and get ready for work at 1. wahoo!
Sunday, May 29th, 2005
1:39 am
up to my ears in ice cream...
you know it's been a long day of scooping ice cream when you find it on places you didn't think it could go... like the back of your ear. alex decided to stay open till 9 tonight, which means that i worked 8 hours, and it was brutal. it was really nice out today, and therefore people wanted ice cream.

i watched "In Good Company" tonight. it was cute, i liked it. i was supposed to get together with Kathryn for dinner, but because i worked late i cancelled (yesterday alex said i'd be out of there no later than 7). we're going to lunch tomorrow though, so it's cool.

anyways, i'm tired. goodnight moon.
Saturday, May 28th, 2005
10:42 am
RHS 1 year later.
Meg and Kathryn are home!!! Yay! Only, Meg's here for just the weekend with her boyfriend. He's really sweet, and cute too. So i went to Meg's last night, the three of us talked for a little while, and then we went over to Mackinger's, where Carney and BJ were. We sat around, they drank beers (i had to drive home) and told stories about school. It was great. I really miss those guys. Though we never always got along, we did have some great times together. It was really hysterical when Mackinger just kept spitting out names of people he knew in NYC and Brett, Meg's boyfriend, knew all of them. it was really scarey.

i have to work today. :o( yuckos. but i have tommorrow off. it should be good.

anyways, i need to go hop in the shower and then get to the bank before it closes.
Saturday, May 21st, 2005
10:30 am
"We're at Grand Ja Ala!"
"Wow, we're at Newport Grand Ja Ala!"
"It's Hi-Li, Morgan."
"Oh, i was wondering why it was so ethnic."


I've worked the last couple of days, today will be my third. It's been kind of boring, but that's mainly 'cause it's just me working in ice cream so i have no one to talk to, and it's been cold out, so no one wants to eat ice cream.

Morgan and Sarah, and Aysu came yesterday. They had to drop a friend off at TF Green, and then came down to Newport. we drove around, had dinner, were silly. the usual. then we went to Jai-Alai. i lost $5, sarah lost $7, and morgan only $0.19, i forget about Aysu.

anyways, i came home, read a little, and then went to bed.

Oh! Jeff IMed me, and asked if i wanted to go to NYC tonight for a Margret Cho concert. yeah, that's definitally not going to happen.

i've been thinking about Dean less and less, but i'm still kind of sad. Morgan is totally right, people don't fall in love or get in relationships because of attraction or compatability, it's all because of timing. We're compatible with more people than we think, but it's just meeting them at the right time, and being in the same place for a while to start something. I had 5 months, i just didn't get the balls till the weekend before i leave.

Anyways, i need to go get ready for work.
Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
6:11 pm
smell that salty air!
i'm home is Rhody. it sure is small. we came home a day earlier, which is fine with me 'cause i think i would have been bored in Baltimore all today.

it was really sad packing, and then driving out of the city.

dean had to go to court, so we didn't get to do lunch. :o( oh well. maybe i'll see him if i go down to move els in. i'll move on with my life either way.

anyways, i have to go to the market to get food.
Monday, May 16th, 2005
1:59 am
my last night in the District.
it's my last night in DC. it's really sad. i love this place with all my heart and am really going to miss it. it's going to be a long 3.5 months. don't get my wrong, i'm going to have a ton of fun in RI this summer, but it's just not the same.

the past couple of days i haven't been able to keep this whole dean thing out of my head. i've had a big thing for him since january, and i was finally getting past that with the whole jeff thing. now the whole can of worms is back open. the worst part is i might never see him again. i can't believe i keep dwelling on this, but he is literally everything i'm looking for in a guy; smart, funny, cute, driven, and he's really classy. plus the fact that he's a southerner lets me make fun of him. we butt heads about basketball all the time, but it's just so much fun. yeah, i'm going to talk to him online and drunk dial him like i have for the past said months, but it won't be the same thinking that i can't meet him for lunch, or bump into him at Apex like i do (the later more frequently). anyways, i lament. i'm going to lunch with him tomorrow, but only if he doesn't have to go to court to file a motion. my fingers a crossed.

yes, i do have dean on the brain (it's sex related), but i'm really going to miss GW and HOVA more! morgan isn't going to be down a flight of stairs, liesl isn't going to be next door, jeff and adam arn't going to be around to laugh/be pissed off at. honestly, i'm going to miss adam's ocd, and jeff's clutter. i'm going to miss 18th and I runs. i'm going to miss hoping on the Metro and going down to the worlds largest collection of museums. though i hate it, i'm going to miss 7AM motorcades, and the ugly architecture of the watergate. i'm going to miss bitching about the price of food while i spend a fortune later that day in georgetown. i'm going to miss it all.





but then there's RI. the beach, DRIVING!, Comet, ice cream, my friends who i've seriously neglected, home cooked meals, no homework, my own room, quietness.




i should get to bed. i need to get up and finish packing in the morning.

good night moon. good night washington.
Friday, May 13th, 2005
3:01 pm
CRAZINESS!
went to Apex last night. i was TRASHED (i drank an 40 and a mike's 24 in 25 minutes). i kissed jeff. but then he started making out with this other guy Mike (who everyone thinks is not attractive). bumped into Gordon AND Dean. introduced them, and then bumped into jeff and introduced all of them. gordon went off and was flirting with some guy, and jeff and mike went off and danced. i started to talk to Dean, which lead to kissing, which lead to making out... which lead to me going home with him. and you know where that leads... oh how i wished it had happened 5 months prior. he's such a nice guy, and he's REALLY smart, plus he's cute too! so i'm uber tired 'cause i didn't get to sleep till like 430, and then i woke up at 8 this morning when his alarm went off to get up for work.

UGH! why do these things come about when i have DAYS left? especially since Dean is going to Columbia for law school this fall.
Thursday, May 12th, 2005
4:58 pm
nevermind.



i think it was just the depressing music i was listening to.
11:53 am
[sigh]
why do i doubt myself so much?
Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
9:48 pm
oh what to do...?
So i've got a really big thing for Jeff. the fact that he keeps inviting me to do stuff either means he too might have a thing for me, or just wants to be friends. Both of which i'd be happy with, but prefereably the former. sunday night he invited me out to smoke, which i took him up on. i didn't get high though. we talked for a while, and i hung out with some GW gays that i normally think are annoying, but they were actually pretty fun. i think it was my judgmentalness of them, that made me find them annoying. they are kinf of flamers, and by hanging with them, i didn't want the image projected on them, so i just decided to not like them, and therefore wouldn't hang out with them. my mind is very stupid. anyways, the big part of the night was when we were leaving, and i think jeff tried to kiss me. i was walking by him, and had to walk close next to him due to people on the other side of him. i smile up at him as i did, and he leaned down. but i was already in motion and couldn't really stop, and he jerked back when i was past him. i kicked myself as i was walking home. he also kept saying he was sorry for not walking me home the night before, seeing as how i passed out in the chair next to him. i told him not to worry, but he continued to apologize. it was cute, and very sweet.
Sunday, May 8th, 2005
11:08 am
"i think he fell asleep again"
Where do i start?

dinner with Thomas was fun, i haven't caught up with him in a while.

came back, hung around. came up with a slogan for poor college students with limited resources.
alcohol is like swimming: you have to wait and hour or two after you eat before you can partake in activity.

my roommates weren't around, so we hung out in m room. i cracked open my 40 while other people took shots of whatever. it was definitally BYOB, or BYOD as Andee exclaimed--Bring Your Own Drunk. (she pregamed in thurston with tequilla before coming over to hova) the 40 wasn't hitting me enough, so i took some secret shots of Bacardi O in the bathroom so everyone else wouldn't see.

after i'm drunk and watching SNL, i decide to call Jeff (he had IMed me earlier and told me to call him that night if i wanted). so i get dressed (we were also having a pajama party) i got over to the West End to a swimming party. i had another beer, and smoke some hooka. then we went over to Munson where Jeff smoked with a couple of guys. at first i said i wasn't going to (it's not really my thing) but after sitting in the bathroom for a half hour with them laughing, i decided to try. i didn't feel much different then smoking hooka, except it lasted longer. anyways, we chilled there and watched a movie, then went back to the West End. they were watching movies there, and we decided to watch Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. well we started watching it, but i could keep my eyes open. i fell asleep the first time and they woke me back up to watch a certain part of the movie, and then fell back asleep. that's when i decided i was going to go home. Jeff said he'd walk me back, but i told him to stay and watch, i'd be fine.

here i am the next morning.

i think there are $5 all you can eat pancake at Phi Sig Sig. i think i might hit that up.
Friday, May 6th, 2005
12:46 pm
my doubts...
i think Jeff is out of my league; hence why i have developed a big thing for him.

i went to Apex last night with him, and let me tell you, he has an amazing body. i ended up walking home alone, 'cause the video lounge closed, and he bumped into some other friends, and i was tired and wanted to get home.

my dad should be here soon.

we're meeting the dean at 4.

i have to work tonight :o(. Last night i read all by 5 pages of the Phantom Tollbooth at work. i love that book.


i lament...
Thursday, May 5th, 2005
3:56 pm
thank you Mexican Independence!
Heute ist der fünft mai!
Today is the fifth of may!
¡Hoy es el cinco de mayo!







thus i will be trashed tonight on corona and tequilla.
12:34 am
Jamie Cullum
god, i've forgotten how amazing Jamie Cullum is. his music is so crisp and warm. my life has been too fast paced to listen to him, but now that i'm done for the summer, he's the perfect mood.

like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
please just leave me right here on my own
later on you could spend some time with me
if you want to, all at sea


i can't wait to smell the ocean again.
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